


I wish that I could fly (I might just try)

by Fairlyblvrry



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depressing, Depression, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Schizophrenia, Self Harm, Song fic, Suicide, Trigger warnings:, based off Hollywood Undead - Bullet, please read at your own discretion, slight homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4424189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairlyblvrry/pseuds/Fairlyblvrry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My legs are dangling off the edge,<br/>The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,<br/>I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.</p><p>Tyler wasn't always like this, he wasn't.<br/>But sometimes things get too hard.</p><p>My legs are dangling off the edge,<br/>A stomach full of pills didn't work again,<br/>I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.</p><p>--</p><p>Song fic based off Bullet by Hollywood Undead.<br/>Italics is Blurryface in Tyler's head, bold is Blurry speaking through Tyler.<br/>Trigger warnings are in tags, please don't read if you may be affected, if you need help or someone to talk to, my tumblr is in the notes |-/</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish that I could fly (I might just try)

~~_My legs are dangling off the edge,_ ~~  
~~_The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,_ ~~  
~~_I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone._ ~~

_'You're okay, Tyler, everything will be okay soon.'_

Their voice was like poison seeping into Tyler's skull.   
Their words are venom.   
And Tyler can't find the antidote. 

_'Look at your arms, Ty, look how good you're doing.'_

Tyler did as he was told.   
But Tyler couldn't see how he was doing well.  
The blood was dripping slowly, staining his skin.

A stain. 

A permanent stain. 

He can't get rid of this. 

Tyler can't get rid of them.

Everything is  _ **blurry**_ **.** _  
_

  
~~_My legs are dangling off the edge,_ ~~  
~~_A stomach full of pills didn't work again,_ ~~  
~~_I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone._ ~~

_'I love you, Tyler, you know that, don't you?'_

Tyler shakes his head, this demon doesn't love him.   
Love isn't like this.   
Josh loves him. 

Josh.

He needs Josh. 

_'Forget him, Tyler! Forget him!'_

The demon is angry now. 

They hate Josh.   
They hate that Tyler loves him.   
They hate that Josh loves Tyler.

_'Don't be such a faggot! Can't you see how much I love you!? Josh doesn't love you like I do.'_

'No!' 

Tyler is fighting back.  
The demon doesn't like that.

' _Shut up faggot! You better shut up!'_

'No, no, no, no, no! Josh! Help me!' 

Screaming. The demon hates screaming.

 _~~Gone too far and yeah, I'm gone again,~~ _  
_~~It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends,~~ _  
_~~I'm sitting on the edge with my two best friends,~~ _  
_~~One's a bottle of pills, one's a bottle of gin~~ _

'Tyler! Tyler, baby boy, what's going on?!' 

Josh runs into the room and lets out a choked scream.

His boyfriend, his love, his **_Tyler_ ** is sat on the bathroom floor, surrounded by blood and little white pills. 

'Oh, gosh, Tyler, come on, put that down, let's get you wrapped up! Crap, Tyler!' 

He's panicking, Tyler knows that. The demon knows that.

 **'Don't you dare touch me.'** Tyler throws his bottle of alcohol at Josh, missing the elder man, causing it to shatter against the wall, glass and gin spewing across the room.

His voice is low. Menacing. 

Josh knows it's not Tyler. 

'Tyler, baby, are they back? Just nod your head, baby.'

Josh keeps his voice quiet. He knows the demon very well. 

He knows how much they hate anyone close to Tyler. 

He knows they are the most extreme part of Tyler's schizophrenia. 

He knows they are a monster.

 _~~I'm 20 stories up, yeah, I'm up at the top,~~ _  
_~~I'll polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off,~~ _  
_~~Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,~~ _  
_~~I bet my mamma found my letter, now she's calling the cops~~ _

Tyler nods quickly, clutching the knife in his hand. 

'Ty, baby, you are better than them. Don't let them take you.' Josh says calmly, walking over to the bathroom cabinet carefully, trying not to tread on the broken glass. He keeps his eyes on Tyler as he reaches into the cabinet to retrieve Tyler's emergency medication. 

'Don't let me be gone, don't let me be gone, don't let me be gone.' 

Josh's heart breaks as he watches his boyfriend rocking back and forth, eyes squeezed shut as he whispers the same words over and over, 

'That's it, Ty. Drop the knife.' 

The kitchen knife falls from Tyler's hand and clutters to the floor.

~~_I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,_ ~~

_'What are you doing, Tyler?'_

~~'Cause _now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance,_~~

_'You need me, remember? I love you.'_

~~_Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent,_ ~~

_'I will win, baby boy. I will win.'_

~~_'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,_ ~~

Josh watches Tyler carefully as he continues to rock and whisper. 

But then something clicks within the young man.

 _~~I've been trying too long, with too dull of a knife,~~ _  
_~~But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,~~ _

A venomous smirks stretches across Tyler's lips.

~~_I never bought a suit before in my life,_ ~~

~~~~**'Let me me be gone! Let me be gone! Let me be gone!'**

'Tyler! Stop! Stop screaming, listen to me! You're okay! I's okay, come on, baby boy, snap out of it!'

~~_But when you go to meet God, you know you wanna look nice._ ~~

**'Too far gone. Too far gone. Too far gone.'**

~~_So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow._ ~~

'Ty... Ty, baby, I'm sorry.' 

Josh slaps Tyler across the face quickly, as hard as he can. 

The younger looks at Josh, eyes dazed and confused before Josh lurches forward and puts two pills in Tyler's mouth, tilting his boyfriends head back before pouring water into his mouth, encouraging him to swallow. 

**'You won't win.'**

~~_My legs are dangling off the edge,_~~  
~~_The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,_ ~~  
~~_I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone._ ~~

Tyler wakes up in bed to find his arms bandaged slightly too tightly.  
His head hurts and he feels sick.

'Hi, sweetheart.' A voice whispers and Tyler turns his head to find Josh sat next to him,

'What happened?' 

'They took over.' Josh sighs, 

'Are you okay? Did I hurt you?' Tyler asks quickly, 

'I'm fine. It's not me you should be worrying about. You could have died, baby boy. You were bleeding so, so much. You had pills out. I-If you haven't of screamed, you would be dead.' 

'Did you... Did you call an ambulance?'

'No. I didn't want to frighten you or set you off even more. But if it happens again anytime soon, I'll have to, baby boy.' Josh whispers, stroking Tyler's hair, 

'I don't wanna go back to hospital, Jish.' The younger sighs, 

'I know, baby.'

 ~~_My legs are dangling off the edge,_ ~~  
~~_A stomach full of pills didn't work again,_ ~~  
~~_I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone._ ~~

'Why do they want me dead, Josh? Why do they want us dead?'

 ~~_We hit the sky, there goes the light, no more sun, why's it always night?_ ~~  
~~_When you can't sleep, well, you can't dream,_ ~~  
~~_When you can't dream, well, what's life mean?_ ~~

It's been a week since Tyler's  ** _episode._** **  
**

Josh is terrified.   
Terrified the demon is going to come back.   
Terrified they're going to win. 

-

'I've been thinking...' Tyler whispers, holding one of Josh's hands in both of his own, 

'What about, baby boy?' Josh asks softly, looking at Tyler, who has his eyes trained on the ground, 

'What if they're right? What if they aren't lying?'

'What have they been saying to you, love?' Josh asks, worry filling his voice, 

'They said I'm better off dead.' 

'That's not true. How often are they talking to you?' 

_'He doesn't care. Only I care, baby boy.'_

'Don't call me that! Only Josh can call me that!'

'Tyler! How often are they talking to you?' 

'All the time.'

'Right now?' Josh asks, 

'Mhm.' Tyler nods, 

_'Lie to him, Ty. Don't tell him about me.'_

'What are they saying, baby boy?' 

**'Don't call me that. Only they can call me that.'**

'Ty...'

 _~~We feel a little pity, but don't empathize~~ _  
_~~The old are getting older, watch a young man die,~~ _

'It's them. They're making m-'

_'Shut up, Tyler!'_

'Tyler, don't let them in. Fight them.'

**'Oh, Josh. You're so stupid. Don't you see? I'm already gone.'**

_~~A Mother and a Son and someone you know, smile at each other and realize you don't,~~ _  
_~~You don't know what happened to that kid you raised,~~ _  
_~~What happened to the Father, who swore he'd stay?~~ _

'You're not, Ty! Fight them! You're better than them!' 

**'It's over, it's over. You lose. You're dead. We're all dead. Dead. Dead. We're dead. You're dead.'**

He can feel it. He can feel the venom. It's creeping up his neck. 

It's black. It's thick and black and terrifying. 

He can feel it, crawling up his neck, coating his skin. 

He can see it, slowly making its way out from underneath the bandages, turning his hands black. 

He's stained. 

 _~~I didn't know 'cause you didn't say,~~ _  
_~~Now Mamma feels guilt, yeah, Mamma feels pain,~~ _  
_~~When you were young, you never thought you'd die,~~ _  
_~~Found that you could but too scared to try,~~ _

Tyler jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom, not saying a word to Josh. 

'Tyler!' The elder shouts, running after his boyfriend.

He finds Tyler in the bathroom, his hands under the stream of water coming from the hot tap. 

He's scrubbing at his skin violently. 

'It won't go away, Josh!' He exclaims, 

'Tyler, there's nothing there...'

'There is! It's black! It's all black! My hands, my throat, all black! Poison, Josh, it's poison!' 

Tyler is frantic now, scrubbing at his reddening skin, 

'Tyler! Stop! You're burning yourself!' 

**'It has to hurt. I have to hurt.'**

Tyler's hands leave the stream of water, and he quickly begins slapping them against the mirror repeatedly, 

'I don't want to live! i don't want to hurt! I don't want to breathe anymore! They've won!'

He starts washing his hands angry, violent sobs tearing their way through his throat. 

**'Game over.'**

_~~You looked in the mirror and you said goodbye,~~ _  
_~~Climb to the roof to see if you could fly.~~ _

Tyler looks up slowly and catches sight of his panicking boyfriend in the bathroom mirror. 

 **'We're dead. I'm dead. I'm dead, Joshua. I'm dead. You're dead. They killed** **us.'**

_~~So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.~~ _

'Tyler, I'm sorry. You need help.'

 _~~My legs are dangling off the edge,~~ _  
_~~The bottom of the bottle is my only friend,~~ _  
_~~I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,~~ _

Tyler watches as Josh pulls his phone out of his pocket, thumb tapping out quick numbers. 

The demon sees. 

**'Don't you dare.'**

Tyler knows he needs to fight. He needs to win. 

He only has one option left. 

He needs to let go. 

He needs to be gone. 

He's hurting.

He's hurting Josh. 

This isn't a game anymore. 

This is a war. 

This is a war in Tyler's head.

This is violence.

And he's losing. 

He needs to let go. 

He needs to let the poison consume him. 

'Josh. I'm sorry.' He whispers before pushing past the elder and running downstairs. 

 _~~My legs are dangling off the edge,~~ _  
_~~A stomach full of pills didn't work again,~~ _  
_~~I'll put a bullet to my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone.~~ _

Tyler is shaking.

His hands are black. 

His vision is red. 

His mind is white.

They have succeeded this time. 

Silence. 

He knows where it is. 

This is his only release.

_~~I wish that I could fly,~~ _

Josh runs into the room. 

'Tyler, don't you dare!' 

_~~way up in the sky,~~ _

'I love you. I love you so much.They won't hurt us anymore.'

Tears.

_~~Like a bird so high,~~ _

Crying.

Begging.

_~~Oh I might just try,~~ _

Gunshot.

Screams.

Silence.

-

The demon had won. 

They had taken things too far. 

Tyler was too broken. 

Too far gone to ever be saved. 

-

After the funeral, Josh spent a long time thinking.

Thinking about Tyler. 

His schizophrenia.

The demon. 

-

Josh become close to the demon. 

Gave them company.   
A purpose.   
A seat at the table. 

The demon showed him things he never could have imagined.

He was a goner. 

He knew he had to join Tyler. 

_~~I wish that I could fly,~~ _

And in his suicide note, he made sure people knew of the demon.

They need to know what had caused himself and his boyfriend to go.

They let them be gone. Finally.

_~~way up in the sky,~~ _

He needed to follow.

He wanted to know the demon. 

He wanted to know Tyler's killer. 

_'Oh Josh, poor baby. My name is Blurryface, and I care what you think.'_

_~~Like a bird so high,~~ _

 

Josh's mother found the note.

_**"Tyler was fighting. He was strong and he was fighting. But this demon, this... This character... They fought harder. They are poison. They are evil. They are death and life and sin. Their aim is fear and their purpose is destruction. They haven't gone away. They came back. They aren't finished quite yet. I never got to ask Tyler something so, so important... Who is Blurryface? And why does he want me dead?** _

_~~Oh I might just try.~~ _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Stay safe and stay alive, friends, you will be okay.  
> 


End file.
